what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
