I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
