I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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