Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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