god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
