He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
