His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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