I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The air taste purple.
Randomize
