Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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