I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
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