I look better un-naked...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
