I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
