i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
