That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
