i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
