you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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