I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
