Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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