At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
