Screwed.edu
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
