If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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