one two three fourrrrnication!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
