You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
