I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We are all done wearing pants today
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
