One girl and one boy is just not enough.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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