i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
