I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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