Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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