They should really pass out barf bags in church
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
