Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
