Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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