There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
