I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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