Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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