so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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