so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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