Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
