Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
