She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
