Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
