all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
