How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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