If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
