): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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