We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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