I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
