Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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