so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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