I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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