And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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