yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
